Love is not self-sustaining but requires constant maintenance.
We can often get stuck on surface-y conversations but need to work hard at diving deep in to heart level conversations.
Seventy-nine college students had their conversations recorded and analyzed by researchers, who distinguished between chit-chat about the food or the weather from discussions about philosophy, education, or religion.
Subjects who reported the greatest amount of satisfaction spent only 10 percent of their conversation on small talk, while the unhappiest subjects kept 28.3 percent of their talking time in the shallow end.
Go back to the early days of your relationship and rediscover what drew you to each other.
If you were the one to ask your partner to a date, ask your girlfriend or wife what made her say yes.
Don’t talk about this kids soccer schedules, your crazy boss, or your never ending to do list.
Instead take these questions with you on your next date night and take turns answering them.
When couples come to one of my workshops or see me for therapy, I provide them with "Fun Date Question Cards".
Even if you can’t squeeze in a date night, at least squeeze in SOME time together.
After a period of time, it's not unusual for couples to run out of conversation topics to talk about.
Whether it is to redirect away from a difficult topic or to simply start a conversation focused on each other, the questions on these cards give couples a place to start.
I encourage them to follow every rabbit trail in the conversation.